Inescapable Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Uncertain

The soft crackle and snapping of the fire blended with the hushed whispers of insects humming throughout the darkened forest. The inhabitants of the clearing were content to allow nature to continue its endless conversations, each withdrawn into their own tumultuous musings. Every so often, a pair of worry-filled eyes would flash to the well, impatiently sliding over the weathered wood in the hopes of discerning the answers for which everyone was waiting.

What was happening to Kagome and Kikyo? Could the magic of the well bring Kagome back to life? Would doing so kill Kikyo? How long would it take? Was there anything more they needed to do? The moment Kikyo had pulled Kagome into the well, Yatagarasu had taken wing, shooting straight into the air until even Sesshomaru's advanced sight could no longer distinguish his dark form from the encroaching night sky. InuYasha had reacted badly once he had realized why Kikyo had to be the one to go into the well with Kagome. After several failed attempts to follow the woman who held his heart and the woman who had healed it, InuYasha had retreated to the base of Goshinboku, and had not moved in the nearly two days they had been waiting.

Miroku had taken the children down to the village to stay with Kaede, having Jaken and Ah-Un guard for any attacks from the possessed hanyou. After returning, he and Sango had set up camp by the well, both of them filled with worry for their friend. The well was emitting a steady hum of power that Miroku could feel, and every few hours he tested the energy for any changes that might signal the return of the two miko.

After not moving from where he had been standing for the better part of a day, Sesshomaru had stationed himself at the base of the well, guarding over it and its occupants. There was an air of nonchalance to the youkai lord that the rest of the group envied in these uncertain moments. Inside however, Sesshomaru was seething in a maelstrom of emotions that were threatening to overwhelm him. His thoughts were a series of revolutions, circling endlessly in a dance of self-loathing, doubt and frustration. It had been two days since both the undead miko and Kagome had vanished within the mysterious power from the structure at his back. Two days, since Naraku and Magatsuhi had ambushed them and used a false Jewel as bait.

Two agonizingly long, embittered days since he had failed and Kagome had died.

With a soft snarl at himself and the direction of his thoughts, Sesshomaru stood.  Turning, he braced his hands against the lip of the well, claws strangling the aged structure in a dangerously tight grip as glowing, molten eyes gazed into the dark depths impatiently. So lost was he with his inner demons, Sesshomaru failed to notice the approach of the slayer until a small, battle-calloused hand brushed tenderly along the whirls of wood next to his own. Sharp eyes studied the woman next to him as she turned her gaze from inside the well to the bejeweled sky above, never once resting her eyes on his questioning form.

Sango noticed the inuyoukai's overt assessment of her presence, but remained silent, gathering her thoughts together. She had been watching Sesshomaru since the sky had begun to show the first blushes of nightfall, trying to understand his reactions to Kagome back in the clearing against the now cool detachment that was at odds with his body language. As a demon slayer, she knew that inuyoukai were fiercely loyal to those whom they deemed worthy of those attentions, as well as protective, with a deeply rooted sense of integrity and honor. She also knew that Kagome had been drawing the aloof Sesshomaru into the circle of those she considered friends for some months past. Gazing at the moon, Sango felt her lips twist into a bitter-sweet grin.

Despite his immunity over the centuries to the emotional bonds others craved, it was apparent that even Sesshomaru was unable to resist the phenomenon that was Kagome's utter sincerity and compassion. For a being not used to such attachments though, Sango mused the daiyoukai was uncertain to his own reactions in regards to the spirited miko. Her grin fading, Sango once more turned her melancholy gaze to the darkness stretching down past her fingertips. She could only hope it wasn't too late to welcome him to the club.

After several minutes had passed, Sango's soft voice broke the silence between them, startling Sesshomaru from his own inner thoughts once more. When she had made no move to address him, the inuyoukai lord had written her presence off to once more wrestle with his emotions. At her words, however, his attention focused more intently on the tiny slayer and her motives for approaching him.

"I once heard Kagome say that in her time, you can rarely see the stars at night. It was right after that last huge battle, when the Jewel had disappeared. Kikyo had told me that Kohaku was alive, and free from Naraku, but we couldn't find him anywhere." Sango paused for a moment, old wounds surfacing under the weight of memories. Sesshomaru remained silent, knowing that the slayer had not finished. Eyes burning, but thankfully dry, Sango continued, her voice a bit rougher.

"It was a few weeks later that we finally heard word of his whereabouts. When we reached him, Kohaku was living with a family in a village to the north that had found him wandering, lost and confused as to anything other than his name. When he saw me, he ran to the eldest daughter of the family, a girl a few years younger than me, hiding behind her and shivering in fear.

"I don't know what happened, what Naraku did to his memories, but every time he set eyes on me during our stay his face filled with so much fear—" Sango choked down on a sob, refusing to loose herself to heartache. Closing her eyes and taking a steadying breath, the battle-hardened woman steadied her nerves, wiping the errant moisture from her lids before it had a chance to grow into a damning evidence of her own sorrow. Looking into Sesshomaru's eyes finally, Sango continued.

"Every time Kohaku ran to that girl calling her 'big sister', I died. After we came back to Kaede's village, I shut down. My brother was alive, but only knew me as someone to fear. Naraku had finally beaten me- Kohaku was alive... but my little brother was gone. I couldn't find him anywhere in that terrified face, just as he could no longer see his big sister when he looked at me." Sango had taken the time to sit on the lip of the well, her eyes once again moving from Sesshomaru to the star-filled canopy above the clearing.

"Kagome was the one who finally got through to me. She showed me there was hope that one day I would be with Kohaku again. She told me how, in her time, villages had grown into cities, and the lights from all over Nippon blocked out the stars. Even in the countryside, she said, it is near impossible to see stars without tools that enhance your sight to that of a youkai's.

"Then Kagome said that the people we care about the most- our friends, our families- she said that they are like the stars in her time: You can't always see them, but you know they're still there." Once more silence fell between them as Sango thought about that moment when she'd felt the weight of despair lift from her soul, and Sesshomaru thought about her words and the meaning behind them.

The silence stretched out, this one not as tense as before, but not comfortable either. Sesshomaru understood the logic of her thinking, but did not understand why she had felt the need to tell him her story, or Kagome's words. Eyes narrowing as frustration began to seep into his thoughts once more, the youkai lord decided to cut to the heart of the matter.

"You endeavor to convince me that the miko is not truly gone, and that she will return." Sango shook her head, reddish-brown eyes meeting with gold as she explained:

"No, Sesshomaru-sama, I only want to help you realize two things. The first is the same thing I learned from Kagome: that it wasn't my fault. It wasn't her fault she couldn't see the stars in her time, and it wasn't my fault that I could no longer see my brother and vice versa... as it isn't your fault that she died."

Sesshomaru didn't deny her assumption that he felt responsible for failing the little miko. The daiyoukai wasn't in the habit of lying, to himself or others, and he respected that the slayer knew enough about inuyoukai to perceive his attitude towards the situation. He did not appreciate that she, a mere human, felt a misplaced duty to correct his perceptions however. Scowling slightly at the shrewd assessment, Sesshomaru reluctantly nodded, graciously accepting her sound reasoning.

"And the other," he prompted, his voice soft but commanding. A gentle breeze swept through the clearing, whipping his fine, moon-brushed hair behind him as he moved his gaze back to the well on which one clawed hand still rested. Sango stood silent in the chilling air a moment longer before turning to head back for the warmth of the fire. Her voice was equally soft and autocratic, her response a question of her own, carried to him on the wind even as she drew further from him.

"We all have stars we recognize, Sesshomaru. Is Kagome one of yours?"